dying dreams

I’m at a clinic along with bonnie and other women academics when I just slip down– I’m fading away– the feeling is intense: partly the lethargy of sleep combined with a sense of inevitability.

I’m in my parents’ house, when I realize I’m being slowly poisoned by nerve gas– when I figure out what’s happening, I struggle to take care of it myself without bothering my father because I just don’t have the energy to spare– it’s about survival at this point. I dial 911 on my cell phone and gather up what I’ll need, keys, wallet, and make my way downstairs– I’m struggling to stay on my feet, reeling and fighting unconsciousness, headed for the front door to wait for the ambulance. my dad’s downstairs, and I reassure him as lightly as I can that everything’s fine and that I’ll be back soon.

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