we have a winner!

hands down for creepiest personals ad response evar:

me: today = really freakin’ cold. took george out, and my ears near froze off– so this sunday equals utter indoor laziness for me.

him: It’s cold here too.who is george. I had a horrible night last night.I shot my dog, that I’ve had for ten years, but she didn’t die

him: I’ve been outside all day digging a grave on frozen ground.

me:

jesus. that really is pretty much the worst weekend imaginable. and me not responding unfortunately feels a bit like adding insult to injury– but I’m kinda thinking I’m not going to pursue this one. if you want him, he’s available– and, I’m presuming, dogless.

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15 Replies to “we have a winner!”

  1. I guess I mostly find it grimly funny/sad. and, ultimately, am thankful that my life looks nothing like that. as a glimpse it has its appeal in a nick cave sort of way– and that is all. I did follow patty's good advice, sent a short, empathetic note saying I was sorry for his loss and wishing him well, and feel better for it. thanks, miss patty. sometimes with these things it's hard to know how best or even if to respond at all– but I also didn't want to create any sort of situation for myself by outright ignoring it. this seems to be a good compromise.

  2. Whoa……You know, if you had a dog allergy, I guess it would be okay to see a dogless guy, but… the fact that he was the one that caused himself to be dogless is a little.. weird. I thought the dog wasn't dead… so why does he need a grave? Hmm……..

  3. this puts me in mind of electric firefly's Most Inappropriate Holiday Newsletter contest– I would hold me one for fictional personals ad responses if I weren't half convinced that this would beat any of 'em right off the bat.

  4. ha. my latest online dating hilarity is that "richy" (the 53-yr-old weirdo who wants to hear my lovely voice) also responded to my AUNT's ad. and she was going to have dinner with him until I brought up the fact that he's weird.

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