my boyfriend is very allergic to cats– and then there's this:
which is what happens after about five minutes of petting them.
at first I was all, okay, the katz must go. you are wheezing and developing hives. my home is actively making you sick.
and then i confronted the reality of this decision, on top of my pet history and the positions I've taken in the past on other people's disposals and displacements of animals– I have been a judger, it is true. I have drawn rather hard lines around the ethics of pet ownership and am now being called to account by the universe.
because it's sort of starting to look like maybe the human being needs to take priority over the housepets in this scenario. I've kind of been digging in my heels over the last several weeks, weighing some other options, bathing regularly to reduce allergens and whatnot– but the truth is, I also know what kind of a housekeeper/pet groomer I am. i.e. not the more assiduous. I'm not even all that ardent about my own grooming, so you can bet that, despite whatever sky-high intentions I might embrace, it's just not gonna happen.
and so.
what are the alternatives? these are my, for better or worse, fuzzy sweethearts. I'm a big goosh. I cuddle my animals quite a bit, ordinarily, and so they've come to expect and to crave this level and type of attention. how do I begin to find another place in the world that would be good for them? this seems like an impossible conundrum to me– because, simply, once they're out of my hands, they're no longer mine and I have no say, really. they must become an integral part of someone else's household however that must work. and I'm having a really really difficult time coming to grips with this and initiating the process.
for now I guess this is all I want to say. this is the dilemma I am currently sitting with. maybe it sounds kind of dumb in the scope of things, but it's mine, and it feels big.
