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weather report

I’m liking the look of things, the halloween colors, bright orange leaves, black branches. even the cold-gleaming wet sidewalks.

it does get tough when the skies hang low and grey– too many clouds to know all the names– strange ones pendulous as solid gigantic fruit suspended in air. or wispy spun drifts of vapor. my scribbled notebook, mainly garbage but with the occasional glint, exclaims over a single such airborne traveler. they’re what’s on my mind, some days.

then partly sunny, color leaps to the eye and helps resuscitate the grey-wearied mind.

a bumpy ride on the chicago streets these days– potholes, of one kind and another. everyone loves having something to complain of, but too much ready plaint a wet blanket in cold weather.

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insomniariffic

"everything! everything! everything!" (violent femmes)

facebook is gobbling up the energy/thoughts I would otherwise expiate here. but abbreviated and at the mercies of a larger and less self-selected/sympathetic audience than voxdom, and so I question the wisdom of this time/energy use.

I've been up since approximately 2 (it being now 5:18) at which time the feller came to bed and showed me all the pimping he'd done to my cell phone. with which I take fewer and worse photos than I did with the lower-end LG, which irks me.

I'm definitively not in michigan, where I thought I'd be right about now, probably still driving– visit determined not needed, so fine– I'm here, but not really ready to be here, having thought I'd be there– not ready to go to work today, having thought I'd be taking it off, and yesterday being such a dreadful headcase making me want to avoid the site of such uncenteredness entirely.

among the million things, was called a "cyber stalker", meant in jest almost surely, tho it stings since I'm such a watcher-wallflower and have loathed it for years, dreading those moments when my well-intentioned gaze is unwanted and garners tiny smackdowns– this tag, I should mention, in the context of fb public wall posts, so the truth of the suggestion clearly compromised, but still. the suggestion of it stinging.

oversensitive overreacting excessively inappropriately awake

hahahahahahahaha: all that I cannot say in fb space and that clangs around the cranium in odd hours. and so I purge it here. and you, if you are reading this, oh lord tread lightly– lack of sleep and judgment no doubt induces overmuch sharing of insecurity insanities.

and now back to bed, to breathe the air of puppy and fella and try to calm and sleep at least a smidge unto this undesired workday.

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favorite pseudofoods

a list compiled by monsieur flogsbottom, canine gourmand:

  • dandelion heads
  • rabbit turds
  • shoes removed beneath the desk while working
  • toiletpaper rolls
  • discarded articles of clothing, esp. underwear
  • one’s own turds
  • cigarette butts
  • shoes removed at apartment front door upon entering
  • paper toweling (entire rolls, unrolled, ideal)
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whistling in the dark

once upon a time I used to kind of blog sort of. after I started splitting my infinitives with abandon. before that I hatched and hosted, erected and let crumble web pages. before that and after that were poems and then not any poems any more. maybe someday. here and there essays unwound, and the odd boil-infested academic paper worked itself up. lo, of yore the right hand alone scribbled letters on paper of different heft and hue, the graph, the blue and oniony, the soft creamy cotton rag. spirals unto infinity of narrow-rule close writ. and then email and email and email ad nauseum. oh microbloggery facebook puffs.

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simple pulse

weekend morning peace– hanging in the quiet kitchen with the wee beastie snoozing at the foot of my stool, chimes singing away through the open balcony door. following a few days of clogged kitchen sink drain, maintenance maestro snaking it out yesterday, this morning I’ve done loads of dishes and somewhat mastered the workspace chaos– though a big bucket of fetid-smelling drainwater remains shut up in the under-sink cupboard, which I’m choosing to leave for the tending of the manly man before I can put back away all the cleaners and whatnot that reside down yonder.

spent yestderday in the south burbs with the fella’s fam, pre-cousin-wedding-ing, introducing small monster to puppy grandparents, whose dogs generously tolerated his utmost sass, and returned home laden with a panoply of jewel-bright rubber chewables. surely human offspring would bring tenfold welcome.

work is work is schmerk. home organization drifts and lags, though thanks to heroic cohabitant we’re now equipped with plentiful bathroom shelfage. bit by bit. the days spin by. at night I feel my forties and find a dozen hundred larger, more meaningful accomplishments I wish I’d made yet. evenings are tough in the sathead, mornings kinder, weekends best of all– though the weight to make large changes swaggers in then with all its impatient bravado and sunday eve descends like a wicked clunker.

summer swelter has arrived after a full-on july reprieve, and we’re running the ginormous a.c. unit in the front rooms for the first time since the move– dim and cool in there with a small lake forming on the sidewalks below.