sometimes I am pretty much just a complainer complaining. I’m now having poster’s remorse over last, as feeling it’s a misrepresentation of the internal landscape– truth is, I really enjoyed this trip, despite haze of sleep deprivation– i like that I am fairly competent at the work I do and that I can be called upon in these ways, professionally. I like having responsibilities– I guess the lurking truth here is that I’m craving a higher professional profile, and the back seat is simply a metaphor. but I’m still earning my moments at the wheel in this case.
I also want to provide a coda about where the sathead is right now: happyplace. last week this time I was struggling just to tread water– but worked the multi-tiered approach to pulling up one’s own socks– a piece here, a piece there: a good long dogwalk into previously unexplored territory, paying of a couple of bills, some situps, some reaching out to people network, a bit of tinkering at the play table– and wah-la, last night therapy was basically a brag session about how hard I rock.
it’s a rolly rolly rollercoaster, yknow? whiz bang. the view right now has some sunshine and a whiff of spring.