Author: sat

Posted on

elemental

to borrow from today's a.word.a.day:

It has always seemed absurd to suppose that a god would choose for his companions, during all eternity, the dear souls whose highest and only ambition is to obey.
-Robert Green Ingersoll, lawyer and orator (1833-1899)

___

it's a good morning. I have a pervading sense of well-being– which is just a phenomenal feeling. this is comprised of a few key elements: feeling well and properly seen and heard and treasured by my partner; making the time/space to reflect and ground; spending a lovely evening talk-talk-talking with a good new girlfriend; waking to quiet.

some people are adrenalin junkies– I am an emotional junkie. I feel that I am at my best when feeling a lot, intensively. this isn't a modus operandi that works for everyone, and I've caught flak for it my entire life. I'm not the sort who creates drama so that I can be the frontman in my own show– it's a different sort of thing, more internal and personally textured– I simply want to feel a lot. and so I do, and so I am.

some things that are moving me lately:

Johnny Cash Hurt
Johnny Cash Hurt

and still and always khalil gibran's the prophet.

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Posted on

I have found it

the saddest page on the internet.

also that I am unable to be adequately sad in the presence of others, and after awhile it begins to hurt. what is this? odd.

tonight I scrubbed my kitchen floor. I mean scrubbed. except I don't mean scrubbed, quite. but almost.

thing is it's made of vinyl composition tile (not abestos, you'll be glad to know), which is a bitch if you don't wax it. I learned about the care and feeding of vinyl composition tile floors in my house in iowa, when I put one in. and about what happens when you neglect it. you have to strip it and wax it again. though this one seems simply to need a serious waxing. plus it practically has acne. basically, my kitchen floor sucks, apart from its not being asbestos, of course.

also my toilet is tippy.

these are my problems in the first world. these are my problems after having been a, granted, irresponsible, homeowner, to have a landlord who can't really be bothered. to live in a bit of a slummy building in a somewhat uptight neighborhood– and still not really be able to afford it.

and things are good.

explain it to me, g'won.

oh, don't bother.

p.s. I miss paul. a month of silence is too much. cruel silent blog of navarone.

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